MY PASTOR IS DRIVING ME CRAZY, I THINK ABOUT HIM EVERY DAY PLS HELP ME — BORN AGAIN LADY LAMENTS

An anonymous lady has shared her story with us, read her story below

I am a born-again Christian and I never thought I would find myself in this kind of situation.

I have been attending my church for almost three years, and my pastor has always been someone I respect. He is married, has children, and from everything I have seen, he is a devoted man of God. That is why I am even more ashamed of what has been happening in my mind. It started innocently.

I noticed that I looked forward to Sundays because I wanted to hear him preach. His messages always touched me, but somehow, I started paying more attention to him than the message. I began noticing his voice, the way he smiled, the way he dressed and even the little jokes he made during sermons.

I told myself I was simply admiring my pastor. But it became worse. Now I think about him almost every day.

Sometimes I catch myself replaying things he said during counselling or remembering the way he looked at me when we spoke. Nothing inappropriate has happened between us, but my mind has started creating things that do not exist. I have prayed about it. I have fasted. I have even tried avoiding church activities where I know he will be present, but it has not completely worked. The most embarrassing part happened recently. I was reading my Bible when I suddenly realised that I had been thinking about him for almost an hour instead of concentrating on what I was reading.

I cried that night because I genuinely do not want these feelings. He has never told me he likes me. He has never touched me inappropriately or encouraged me. This problem is entirely in my head, and that is what makes me feel helpless.

I am scared that if I continue like this, I may eventually do something I will regret. I don’t want to leave my church because of a feeling I am struggling to control, but I also don’t know how to stop thinking about him. Please, I need advice. How do I get this man out of my head?

I just want to worship God without fighting these thoughts every Sunday.