I’M IN AN ARRANGED LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP, AND I’M NOT SURE IT WILL WORK — ANONYMOUS LADY SHARES

My story didn’t begin with love at first sight or a romantic meeting. It started in my parents’ living room, with familiarity, comfort, and a decision that felt both sudden and inevitable.

Our families had known each other for years. We were family friends long before marriage ever entered the conversation. His mother and my mother were best friends who shared stories, prayers, and long conversations. So when his mother came to visit us one day, it felt normal. She had visited before. I didn’t think much of it.

That day, she really looked at me.

Later, my mother told me what happened. She said his mother mentioned that I seemed calm, well-spoken, respectful that I looked like someone who would make a good wife. She said she thought I would be a good fit for her son who lived in the UK. I remember feeling stunned when I heard it. I wasn’t prepared for my life to be discussed in that way, even though nothing about it was harsh or unkind.

Soon after, conversations started. Carefully. Respectfully. I was introduced to him properly, not as a stranger, but as someone my family already trusted. Everyone emphasized how lucky I was. He was responsible. Intentional. Ready for marriage. A good man from a good home.

So I agreed to try.

Now, we are in an arranged long-distance relationship, stretched across countries and time zones. Our connection lives in phone calls, video chats, and future plans spoken into the air. We pray together. We talk about marriage. We imagine a life that hasn’t yet begun.

I keep telling myself that love can grow from this. That affection will come with time. That many successful marriages didn’t start with intense feelings. I remind myself that stability matters, that values matter, that intention matters.

But Valentine’s season has a way of making silence louder.

While others celebrate with shared moments and physical presence, I sit alone after our calls end, wondering why my heart still feels unsure. The distance isn’t just about miles. It’s about experience. I don’t know how he reacts when things don’t go his way in real life. I don’t know how conflict would feel face to face. I don’t know how it feels to exist in the same space with him, doing nothing at all.

Sometimes I ask myself if I’m just afraid of change of leaving home, of starting over, of stepping into something unfamiliar. Other times, I worry that my doubts are deeper than fear. That maybe my heart is asking questions I’m scared to answer.

I want this to work. I truly do. Not because our parents want it. Not because it looks right on paper. But because I want to choose love with confidence, not confusion.

This Valentine’s, I’m learning that honesty is not rebellion. It’s self-respect. And even if I don’t have all the answers yet, I owe myself the courage to listen to my heart before I promise it away.