TOKE MAKINWA- CHEATING IS NOT A DEAL BREAKER FOR ME IN A RELATIONSHIP ESPECIALLY NOW THAT I AM 41 YEARS OLD

Cheating is not a deal-breaker for me. I know some of you are probably raising your eyebrows already, but hear me out. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, this doesn’t mean I’m encouraging cheating, okay? It’s just that at this stage in my life, being 41 and having experienced my fair share of life, I see things differently.

People always want to make it seem like cheating is only a “man thing.” Like it’s something men do and women just sit and wait to be hurt. But honestly, the older I get, the more I realize that women cheat too. And if we’re being honest, sometimes it’s even easier for us. Society has made this men’s deal look special, like it’s theirs alone, and it’s just not true. Women have needs, desires, and curiosity just like men do.

Now, let me speak to the men for a second. Y’all are out here spending, chasing, putting in work, and we’re the ones receiving. It’s not wrong, it’s just the reality. Relationships take effort, but sometimes the effort doesn’t balance out what’s happening in the relationship. And that’s when you start seeing cracks.

I’m not saying a woman cheats because she’s weak or she can’t handle loyalty. No, no, no. A woman cheats because there’s something missing, something she needs that isn’t being met. Maybe it’s attention, emotional connection, excitement, or even just feeling appreciated. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen women who can resist all kinds of temptation because they’ve made that choice, but at the end of the day, it’s easier to stray when you’re not feeling fulfilled.

So yeah, cheating isn’t the automatic deal-breaker for me. What matters is honesty, self-awareness, and accountability. Life is complicated. People are complicated. And love? Love is messy. I’ve learned that holding someone to a rigid idea of perfection just sets you up for disappointment. I’d rather understand, process, and decide what I can and can’t accept.

At 41, I know myself, I know my worth, and I know what I’m willing to navigate. Cheating doesn’t have to be the end; it could be the beginning of a deeper conversation, if both parties are willing to be real about what went wrong. That’s my truth