I CHEATED ON MY WIFE WITH HER BEST FRIEND AND MY MANHOOD STOPPED WORKING- PAINED MAN SHARES

I never imagined that one mistake could undo everything I had built, not just my marriage, but my sense of self as a man. I am writing this with deep shame, not to excuse what I did, but to tell the truth as it happened.

I have been married to my wife for six years. She is a good woman,loyal, prayerful, and trusting. Her best friend was always around us. She was like family. We ate together, laughed together, and shared secrets. Looking back now, I see how dangerous that closeness was, but at the time, I thought I was strong enough to draw the line.

I was wrong.

It started with harmless conversations. Complaints about marriage, jokes that crossed boundaries, moments I should have shut down but didn’t. One evening, when my wife was away visiting her mother, her friend came over. What happened that night still feels unreal to me. I betrayed my wife in the worst possible way, with the one person she trusted completely.

Immediately after, guilt consumed me. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror. I avoided my wife’s eyes. I became withdrawn, anxious, and restless. Then something else happened, something that terrified me even more.

My body stopped responding to me.

At first, I thought it was stress. I told myself it would pass. But days turned into weeks, and nothing changed. Each time I tried to be intimate with my wife, I failed. The shame was unbearable. I could see the confusion and hurt in her eyes, and it broke me because I knew I was the cause.

I started living in fear. Fear that she would find out. Fear that I had ruined myself permanently. Fear that God was punishing me for my actions. I avoided her touch, made excuses, and buried myself in work. But the more I ran, the worse it became.

Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I sought medical help, and the doctor told me there was nothing physically wrong. That was when it hit me that it was a spiritual problem.

I am now living with regret every day. I have not told my wife the truth yet, and that silence is another burden I carry. I don’t know if my marriage will survive this, or if I even deserve forgiveness.