WATCHING MY BABY CRY TO 40 MINUTES BROKE ME – AM I A BAD MOTHER?- LADY ANONYMOUSLY SHARES PAINFUL DETAILS

I gave birth to my first child three months ago, and I need advice because this situation is deeply affecting me.

From about two weeks after delivery, my husband has constantly complained whenever the baby cries. Instead of seeing it as normal infant behavior, he speaks to the baby as if he were an adult. He says things like:
“You won’t suffer me,”
“You can’t dictate how I live,”
“You must cry if you want to cry,”
“I’ll show you the kind of father I am.”

What hurts more is that he often refuses to let me carry or soothe the baby when he’s crying. I tried explaining many times that newborns cry as they adjust to their new environment. I used different examples and explanations, but he doesn’t listen.

Now the baby is three months old and only cries when he’s hungry, sleepy, or needs attention. However, whenever my husband comes home from work, the baby almost always ends up crying. He claims he is “instilling morals” in the child.

When he carries the baby and the baby starts crying, he makes no effort to comfort him. He doesn’t talk to him, doesn’t soothe him, just holds him while pressing his phone. He also prevents me from taking the baby. The baby can cry for 30–40 minutes, sometimes to the point of struggling to catch his breath. If I try to collect my baby by force, my husband holds him tightly and accuses me of “spoiling” the child — a three-month-old baby.

Watching this breaks me. I cry every time it happens because I feel helpless while my baby suffers. I’ve tried to stop crying, but I can’t. My heart feels too fragile.

My baby is actually very cheerful and smiles a lot. But when he cries, his voice is loud, and my husband doesn’t seem concerned that the baby is crying loudly in the evenings. Neighbors have started calling my child “cry cry,” not knowing that he calms down easily when comforted something his father refuses to allow.

I’ve been hypertensive since pregnancy, and this situation is affecting my emotional and physical healing.

Please, I need advice.
Am I wrong for always wanting to comfort my baby when he cries?