I GAVE BIRTH, BUT I HATE MY BABY – A MOTHERS PAINFUL CONFESSION

When I found out I was pregnant, everyone around me was filled with joy my mother, my friends, even strangers who noticed my growing belly. They said things like, “You’ll fall in love the moment you see your baby,” and “Motherhood will change your life.”

But when the day came and I finally held my baby, I felt… nothing. No spark, no connection just exhaustion, pain, and confusion. Everyone in the delivery room smiled, took pictures, and congratulated me. I forced a smile back, pretending I was happy too.

The first few weeks were worse. My body ached, my mind was heavy, and the cries that filled the night only made me resent the tiny human who needed me endlessly. Every time my baby cried, something inside me snapped not out of anger, but out of helplessness. I hated myself for feeling that way, but I also hated my baby for making me feel trapped.

People told me it was “baby blues,” that it would pass. But it didn’t. Each day blurred into the next feeding, crying, silence, guilt. I’d stare at my baby and wonder, What’s wrong with me? Why don’t I feel love like other mothers?

Then one night, I broke down completely. I sat on the bathroom floor and cried for hours. I realized I wasn’t a monster I was a mother drowning in something no one had prepared me for. It wasn’t hatred; it was pain. Exhaustion. Postpartum depression.

It took courage to speak up to tell my doctor how dark things had gotten. But that call saved me. Therapy, rest, and honest conversations began to pull me out of the fog. Slowly, I started to see my baby differently. I still have hard days, but I’m learning that love can grow even from broken beginnings.