BECAUSE OF ME, MY ENTIRE FAMILY IS DEAD TODAY- ANONYMOUS WOMAN SHARES PAINFUL STORY

I wake up every morning to the same question: how do you live when your own hands took everything away? There’s only the memory of that night and the weight of what I did.

It was a busy Saturday. The kids had football practice in the morning and my husband stayed late at work the week before, so the house was full of tiredness and noise all day. When evening came, the light went again, the generator was our lifeline. I had filled the tank twice that month so we relied on it.

I was in a hurry. I wanted to finish the children’s uniforms and make a quick stew before bedtime. The generator had been running for a while and was hot. I thought the fuel gauge was low, but I didn’t want to put it off to check. I grabbed the jerrycan from the shed and went to top up the tank but I made a terrible mistake, the generator was still running and hot.

As I poured, a spark from the exhaust met the fresh fuel. There was a flash like the world broke open. Fire hit the veranda and then the lounge. I screamed; the house filled with smoke so fast I couldn’t see my own hand. I ran to the children’s room and banged on doors, shouting my husband’s name, but the heat was already there. Neighbours were at the gate, but the flames moved quicker than we could move.

They took me out. I woke up in hospital with burns and a silence that keeps crowding in. My husband and our children didn’t make it. The doctors called it an accident, the police wrote reports. I call it my fault.

People tell me I should forgive myself. They say accidents happen. But I know the small choices, the rush, the shortcut, the decision to refill while the generator was still hot, and they follow me like shadows.

I don’t think I will ever forgive myself because one terrible choice cost me my family