I Married a Man Who Violated Me Because My Family Said I Should – Devastated woman shares.

I never thought I’d be the kind of woman who married her rapist. But then again, I never thought I’d be raped in the first place.

It happened when I was 20. I had just finished my ND program and was living with my parents, trying to figure out my next step. He was someone I barely knew a distant family friend who visited occasionally.

One evening, when no one was home, he forced himself on me. I remember the pain. I remember begging. I remember the silence that followed — the kind that screams inside your head but never comes out of your mouth.

When I found out I was pregnant, my world crumbled. I told my mother, hoping for comfort. What I got instead was shame — not his, but mine. “We cannot let people hear of this,” she said. “People will ask questions.” The solution? Marry him. Cover the sin. Silence the disgrace.

He agreed. Why wouldn’t he? There were no consequences for him only rewards. A home. A wife. A clean slate.
The wedding was rushed and joyless. I remember sitting in my white dress, feeling like a burial was taking place my dreams, my identity, my will all buried under the weight of culture and silence. Nobody asked if I wanted this.

Nobody cared that my “husband” had stolen something from me that I could never get back.
For years, I tried to make it work. I told myself maybe he had changed. That maybe my parents were right that maybe it was “better this way.” We had two children. I cooked, cleaned, smiled in public, and cried in secret.

But the pain never left. The resentment festered. The marriage became a battlefield of blame and buried trauma.
Eventually, it all collapsed. He cheated. He drank. He hit. I left.

Leaving wasn’t easy. In our society, divorced women are still looked at like failures, especially those who “have children.” But I chose peace over pretense. I chose healing over humiliation.
Now I live with my children and work as a teacher. Every day I look in the mirror and try to reclaim the girl I lost. It’s a slow process, but it’s mine.

To every girl out there: Speak up. Don’t let anyone silence your pain in the name of culture, religion, or shame. Rape is a crime not a mistake, not a misunderstanding, and definitely not a reason to get married.
And to every parent: Your daughter’s dignity is not tied to the opinions of neighbors. Her healing should matter more than your reputation.