I GAVE BIRTH AND WALKED AWAY— NOW I WANT MY BABY BACK – LADY SHARES PAINFUL STORY

I never planned to become the kind of woman people judge in silence.

When I found out I was pregnant, my world collapsed. I was not married, not financially stable, and barely holding myself together emotionally. The man responsible denied the pregnancy and disappeared without explanation. I was left alone with fear, shame, and a decision I wasn’t ready to make.

Throughout the pregnancy, I felt disconnected. I didn’t talk to my stomach or imagine a future with a child. Instead, I counted the days until everything would be over. I told myself I was being realistic, not heartless.

Childbirth was painful and exhausting. When the baby was placed in my arms, everyone expected tears, joy, or relief. I felt none of that. I felt trapped.

I knew immediately that I didn’t want the baby.

The nurses noticed my distance. I avoided holding him and made excuses whenever they encouraged bonding. Inside me was a heavy truth I was ashamed to say out loud: I did not want to be a mother.

After days of inner conflict, I asked about giving the baby up. The process was harder than I imagined. Counseling sessions, forms, repeated confirmations. Everyone asked if I was sure.

I said yes every time.

The day I took my baby to the orphanage, my legs shook the entire journey. I held him tightly, not out of love, but out of fear of judgment and regret. When it was time to hand him over, I didn’t look at his face for long. I was afraid that if I did, I would change my mind.

I walked away and told myself I had done the right thing.

Life slowly improved. I found stability. I healed. I matured. Years later, I got married to a man who loved me deeply and wanted children. That was when my past came back to haunt me.

I started dreaming about a little boy calling me “Mama.”

I began to feel a pain I couldn’t explain.

The regret I buried resurfaced stronger than ever.

I wanted my child back.

I went to the orphanage with hope and confidence, believing that as the biological mother, I still had a chance. I explained everything. I told them I was ready now. I had love, stability, and support.

The response shattered me.

My child had been legally adopted years earlier.

The woman explained calmly that once adoption is finalized, parental rights are permanently transferred. The child now belonged to another family—legally, emotionally, completely. Reversing it would harm the child and was not allowed by law.

I cried. I begged. I explained myself again and again.

Nothing changed.

I walked out of that building with a pain far deeper than the one I felt years ago when I first walked away. That was the moment I understood something painful but true:

Some choices cannot be undone.

Some doors close forever.

I don’t know where my child is today. I don’t know what he looks like or what name he answers to. All I can do is hope he is loved, protected, and happy.

That hope is all I have left.