One mistake, one night… now I’m living a lie I can’t escape—lady cries out

This guilt is eating me alive. I still can’t understand how I allowed myself to make such a costly mistake—one that could destroy everything I’ve built.

I’ve known my baby daddy for over ten years. We were deeply in love, dating on and off, and I truly believed he was the one. But when I finished serving in Nigeria in 2019 and started talking seriously about marriage, he wasn’t ready. He was nonchalant, emotionally distant, and never gave me any real hope. I waited, hoping he would change—but time wasn’t on my side.

Then came my husband—God-sent, ready, and everything I ever prayed for in a man. He didn’t hesitate. He put a ring on it and gave me the stability I desperately needed. We got married and started a beautiful life together. He pays attention to every detail, loves me openly, and genuinely cares for my well-being. He is every woman’s dream, and yet… I failed him.

Despite marrying someone else, the feelings I had for my baby daddy never truly died. Every now and then, I found myself missing him—especially the passionate side of our past. One day, we reconnected on Instagram. Innocent chatting quickly turned into confessions of longing and lust. We reminisced about the chemistry we once shared, and before I knew it, he asked me to find time for us to meet.

Conveniently, one of my friends was getting married soon, and I saw that as the perfect cover to leave home for a few days. I told my husband I’d be attending the wedding, and I reached out to my ex, planning our secret reunion. We met at a hotel, and the moment we saw each other, we gave in to temptation. The passion was overwhelming—reckless, satisfying, unforgettable. But it came with consequences.

Weeks later, I realized I was pregnant. Panic hit me like a wave. I quickly started sleeping with my husband every chance I got, hoping he wouldn’t suspect anything. We had been praying for a child for so long, and he was overjoyed at the news. His excitement crushed me inside—I knew the child wasn’t his.

I told my ex, and true to form, he remained cold and indifferent. He didn’t want to be involved. That was all I needed to double down on the lie. My husband embraced the pregnancy with all his heart. When our son was born, he even tattooed the baby’s name on his chest. And I let him.

Now, three years later, the storm I thought I’d escaped is slowly catching up to me. My son is growing beautifully, but my ex has started acting up—threatening to take the child from me. I live in constant fear. If my husband ever finds out the truth, it will break him. He doesn’t deserve this betrayal.

Sometimes, the fear and desperation get so dark that I imagine silencing my ex permanently. But then I snap back to reality. What have I done? How do I fix this without losing everything?