One Dead. One Mad. One Waiting for His Turn—man shares his story

We were four close friends from Delta State, bound by poverty, ambition, and a desperate hunger for something more. When we decided to leave for Lagos, we made a vow: It’s either we make it… or we die trying. Going back home was never an option.

Each of us had a skill—two of us were stylists, one was a makeup artist, and the other, a hairdresser. We were determined to build something with our hands. That was the plan. But Lagos didn’t welcome us with open arms. It hit us hard with reality.

We couldn’t find accommodation. Hunger was real. Survival became a daily struggle. Eventually, one of us drifted away to fend for himself while the remaining three of us stayed together, hoping to find a way through.

Then we met him—a man who seemed like an angel at the time. He housed us, fed us, clothed us, and promised to help. But his help came with a condition.

“Wealthy men will take care of you,” he said. “You’ll live well, but you must give them what they want.”

Desperation clouded our judgment. With empty bellies and no hope in sight, we agreed. That was the day our lives changed forever.

We were introduced to men… not just any men, but powerful, rich ones. And to keep the lifestyle, we did what was asked—sleeping with other men. It felt wrong, but survival had no moral compass in our minds at the time.

Suddenly, life became “good.” We wore designer clothes, dined in expensive places, and blocked out the friend who chose to work honestly. We thought he was beneath us.

But that fake luxury didn’t last.

Today, one of us is dead—HIV took him. Another is mentally unstable and roaming the streets. And me? I’m the only one left, still “sane” but drowning in depression.

I know my downfall is around the corner. I feel it. The weight of my choices is crushing me. I don’t know how to face God, but I want His forgiveness. I want to live again—not just breathe, but truly live.
Please… I don’t want to die.
What should I do?
Can God still save someone like me?